random brain dribbles of a nurse, novelist, and ninja enthusiast

The Esoteric Librarian


My parents were avid readers and lovers of all things book. They kept every book they have ever owned and their complete and total inability to let go of anything coupled with their indiscriminate acquisition of every book on the planet has resulted in some interesting finds. I’ve decided to share several of these fantastic gems with you today. The first is a book about squirrels.

Rhetorical question: who doesn't want a book about squirrels?

Rhetorical question: who doesn’t want a book about squirrels?

My parent’s extreme obsession with squirrels contributed to this book, several squirrel feeders in our backyard, and a constant need to keep up on our rabies vaccinations. Now, we’re off to Korea.

Is this book racist?

Is this book racist?

Despite what I might suggest, this book is not racist and is actually a pretty interesting read describing interracial marriage and life in pre and post American occupied South Korea. Still, the title is hilarious.

I'd make fun of this book if it weren't so apt for me. Cue depression.

I’d make fun of this book if it weren’t so apt for me. Cue depression.

Apparently, this book was very unsuccessful since my dad lived and died bald. Hopefully, I will not succumb to the same fate. Of course, I’m talking about baldness. Death would be fine.

I recommend condescension and scathing sarcastic remarks. Cats seem to respond to that well.

I recommend condescension and scathing sarcastic remarks. Cats seem to respond to that well.

This woman’s ability to get published will be a constant reminder of my continued failures in life.

The Pilgrims have landed in  a toy store near you!

The Pilgrims have landed in a toy store near you!

Popularized by quakers and coming to a Victorian era Toys R’ Us near you, these exciting dolls are every budding Quaker or pilgrims dream come true. A swift pull of the mechanized string of the doll on the left will activate a butter churning motion.

I can assure you rug weaving is not for everyone!

Calling all stereotypical grandmother's

Calling all stereotypical grandmother’s

This book would make a fantastic gift for any crafty great grandmother or aspiring afghaner. Fun fact: looping afghans around decorative fountains does not make them more enchanting.


The following books do not suck and I will now brag about having them in my own collection.

"Me" thinks this is awesome!

“Me” thinks this is awesome!

This book is a first edition hardbound in good condition. If it were signed by Charles Lindbergh himself I would have it hermetically sealed in a tiny glass case like Superman’s lost city of Candor.

Another great find filled with amazing illustrations that has somehow managed to keep itself in at least fair condition despite hundreds of years of wear.

My mother read this book to me as a child and after welcoming our daughter into the world I have been scouring every square inch of our house in search of it. Its sentimental value makes it the most priceless book in my collection and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. If it were signed by my own mother I would hermetically seal it in a glass jar that was encapsulated by a second glass jar and several men with machine guns. Clearly, a book’s value is never measured in dollars. My mother passed before she was able to meet my daughter and it brings a great amount of joy to know that they will meet every time I open the pages of this book and sit down to read it to my own daughter every Easter. I hope you enjoyed these fantastic and not so fantastic books and I hope to hear about your own treasured words in a comment below.

4 Responses to “The Esoteric Librarian”

  1. Multifarious meanderings

    We have unusual books lying around too (although nothing on squirrels- ours are guides to snakes and insects). I have a copy of Peter Pan that I read and reread when I was small, and if anything happened to it I think I’d hang the person reponsible off the nearest lamp post with their undies on their heads.


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