Several days ago a super adorable baby was born with incredible cuteness powers. Her amazing origin story begins with the labor induction drug Pitocin and ends with the complete and utter destruction of her parents’ social lives for the next twenty plus years.
Her cuteness powers are so amazing both parents were left smiling like idiots despite several hours of her blood curdling screams. The dad was so proud he immediately Heismaned the little one.
To gain incredible cuteness powers it is recommended you gestate well past the recommended length of time (Note: definitely not recommended by any obstetrician). At forty one plus weeks of pregnancy you too can successfully achieve maximal cuteness as you rush to induce your baby before your wife’s geriatric uterus crumbles or disintegrates into dust. At forty one weeks and six days the wait was arduous, but very much worthwhile (see above pictures).
After reading this blog post welcoming my daughter into the world you should probably admit yourself into the nearest emergency room to have your head examined, because it is probably hemorrhaging cuteness right about now. She’s even cuter than kittens riding unicorns through rainbows.
Incredible cuteness powers allow all parents to put up with years of non stop puking, defecation, and sleep deprivation in order to lose an entire life savings on their kids four years of college and other poor life decisions. I never quite understood this power until the birth of my own child when emotions flooded into me far more powerful than any I have yet to experience. Clearly, children are amazing and filled with magical baby power.
Leave a comment below describing your own magical baby power experience and stay tuned for a more complete post regarding the terrifying and all consuming first few days with baby.