Today’s daily prompt inspired me to create a product which would revolutionize the sports world.
With the Super Bowl rapidly approaching football enthusiasts need a versatile tool for reacting to whatever situation the football gods present to them. For years the one sided answer to this resided in the traditional giant foam finger. This finger has persisted for years, but what happens when your team becomes #2?
For this child losing a second finger on his giant foam hand was far more devastating than the loss of the game itself. He’ll probably need years of therapy to accommodate for his continual sense of loss, but now we have a clear solution to his one fingered problems.
Phalanges– the bones of the fingers and toes
Prop– obnoxious tool designed to provide support
Flangriprop– even more obnoxious portmanteau product designed to make sports awesome again!
This incredible product turns the old foam finger upside down and then slaps on a second finger! Not only that, but we’re 100% made in America with foam shipped from China.
Using patented velcro enhanced technology, fingers anywhere on the hand can be moved to accommodate any in game reaction. For example:
Want to express your casual demeanor or Hawaiian ancestry? Well, with our additional finger set you can!
Using this image you can either infuse humor into all jumbo-tron appearances with bunny ears or express the acceptance of your teams lowly status as number 2. Either way, you’ll be a winner with the fans! Maybe you’re not a very good sport and like to heckle. Well, never you fear, we have that covered too.
You’re probably wondering how much I will charge for such a fantastic device comprised of products costing merely ten dollars at your local hardware store, but don’t worry. I’m only going to charge one hundred dollars! I feel this is a fair value for the ingenuity involved in finally adding additional fingers to the one digit disaster design of the foam fingered past. Anyone with me? Leave a comment and all your personal credit card information in our extremely insecure comment section below!