random brain dribbles of a nurse, novelist, and ninja enthusiast

The Flangiprop: An Answer To Every Obnoxious Football Fans Giant Foam Fingered Fun

Not actual product!

Today’s daily prompt inspired me to create a product which would revolutionize the sports world.

With the Super Bowl rapidly approaching football enthusiasts need a versatile tool for reacting to whatever situation the football gods present to them. For years the one sided answer to this resided in the traditional giant foam finger. This finger has persisted for years, but what happens when your team becomes #2?

Finger kid depressedFor this child losing a second finger on his giant foam hand was far more devastating than the loss of the game itself. He’ll probably need years of therapy to accommodate for his continual sense of loss, but now we have a clear solution to his one fingered problems.

The Flangiprop!

Phalanges– the bones of the fingers and toes

Prop– obnoxious tool designed to provide support

Flangriprop– even more obnoxious portmanteau product designed to make sports awesome again!

This incredible product turns the old foam finger upside down and then slaps on a second finger! Not only that, but we’re 100% made in America with foam shipped from China.

Product made in Taiwan

Using patented velcro enhanced technology, fingers anywhere on the hand can be moved to accommodate any in game reaction. For example:

Hanging Loose!

Want to express your casual demeanor or Hawaiian ancestry? Well, with our additional finger set you can!

Bunny Ears

Bunny Ears

Using this image you can either infuse humor into all jumbo-tron appearances with bunny ears or express the acceptance of your teams lowly status as number 2. Either way, you’ll be a winner with the fans! Maybe you’re not a very good sport and like to heckle. Well, never you fear, we have that covered too.

The following image has been censored for the little ones.

The following image has been censored for the little ones.

You’re probably wondering how much I will charge for such a fantastic device comprised of products costing merely ten dollars at your local hardware store, but don’t worry. I’m only going to charge one hundred dollars! I feel this is a fair value for the ingenuity involved in finally adding additional fingers to the one digit disaster design of the foam fingered past. Anyone with me? Leave a comment and all your personal credit card information in our extremely insecure comment section below!

9 Responses to “The Flangiprop: An Answer To Every Obnoxious Football Fans Giant Foam Fingered Fun”

  1. josefkul

    Don’t worry, we have everything to fit all your polydactyl needs. You can trust me, because I just used a really big word for multiple fingers and this is the internet where all truth resides. Each additional finger will only cost you twenty five dollars! What a steal!

    Disclaimer: velcro to attach fingers sold separately.

    Reply
  2. djmatticus

    Never in my life have I owned, or wanted to own a foam #1 finger gizmo, thing… you know what I’m talking about, whatever they are called for real. But, now, yes, right now, this very minute, I would purchase a flangiprop! And, i would even take it to sporting events! And I would use it for more than an impromptu cushion. However, I’d probably use for the censored example you have above and not much else. We’re winning – here take a gander at this! Neener Neener. Oh, we’re losing, yeah well here’s what I think of your team! Neener Neener.

    Reply
    • josefkul

      That is the most versatile finger response. Oddly, it is the same response I often get when showing people the price I plan on charging for it as well. People just don’t know value I guess.

      Reply
      • djmatticus

        Perhaps you aren’t targetting the right customer base. For those of us who can see the true value in it, I’m not sure there would be a price break point. I mean… once I’ve lost my voice telling the other team (and their fans) what they can do to themselves now I’ll have a visual represenation of exactly the same thing – and in a big enough size that they can see me from across the stadium! It’s perfect.

  3. Wiley Schmidt

    LOVE those things! I’ve never been able to figure out how to wear one, being challenged by the paws and all. But great take on the prompt!

    Reply

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