random brain dribbles of a nurse, novelist, and ninja enthusiast

The Dog Meat vs Deer Meat Debate

A hilarious post at Go Jules Go reminded me of a conversation at our work potluck the other day regarding the intricacies of dog meat vs deer meat.

The Dog Meat vs Deer Meat Debate: A Potluck Story

My extremely awesome coworkers held a potluck in honor of my future baby Adeline and in silent deference/open loathing to the traitorous escape of a second employee to the evening shift.

Baby swag!

Baby swag!

Molly, you are a traitorous swine! On an unrelated note: we all wish you well. Enjoy evening shift!

Our potlucks are epic or at least we like to think they are as we prepare for every little detail in the weeks that precede them. It was an exciting time fraught with the difficulties inherent in simultaneous smiling and glaring at the two parties involved. By the end of the day our constantly smiling and glaring mouth muscles were both confused and exhausted, but not enough to prevent the following conversation elicited through the consumption of deer meat.

Coworker: Deer meat is gross. I’ve had dog once, though.

Separate coworker: Yeah, they sold it all the time at the market, but you have to be careful. You don’t want to get rabies.

I was shocked by the nonchalance with which these two discussed the finer points of dog meat as the irony of deer meat disgust never escaped the conversation. Rabies as the sole limiting factor towards the consumption of this meat warranted immediate follow up questions.

Me: What’s the best tasting breed?

I’m not sure why this question was at the top of my list of questions, but my wife and I had discussed pet adoption for the last two weeks and I felt taste could be an added factor. Also added: frequency and size of stools (no Great Danes please!)

Coworker: I don’t know. All the dogs are strays and people just pull them off the street.

It was clear the Humane Society needed to start performing overseas missions to the Philippines immediately. Apparently, the incidental consumption of dog meat in the Philippines was much more prevalent than you would think. Especially since this meat is free for the properly motivated vendor hoping to capitalize off these dogs. The conversation gravitated to other members of the animal kingdom.

Me: I wonder what cat tastes like?

An immediate disgust swept over the entire group as we all agreed cat would taste disgusting in any culture. Everyone grew closer together and we felt the world shrink as our cultures merged in mutual cat meat disgust. People in the United Nations should probably take note of this.

Conversations about household cats lead to conversations about jungle cats and an ever growing understanding and respect for cultures and their culinary eccentricities. For example, tiger’s penis soup has long been considered a delicacy in many Asian cultures believing in the soup’s benefits towards sexual potency. Given Charlie Sheen’s incredible sex drive and its constant presence in his blood stream they may be on to something.

It’s amazing how cultural perceptions shape the food we eat and how two far off countries can be so far off on food. In Hindu cultures the cow is sacred, but in America the cow is delicious. They say the world is our oyster. Maybe this is true, but not in the way we think.

Every year members of the United Nations meet in New York at a stuffy building with all the world impersonally seated next to each other waiting for their turn to speak. Do they ever solve problems this way. While eating with a group of strangers united through the bonds of food and toil at our small workplace potluck, I couldn’t help but wonder. If the world is our oyster then why aren’t we breaking shells together over a warm plate of food.

Nothing brings family, friends, and strangers together like a warm plate and a warm smile. We need less bureaucracy and more banqueting. I personally believe all the world’s problems can be solved by potluck.

4 Responses to “The Dog Meat vs Deer Meat Debate”

  1. My Mushy Brain

    Your entries are the best! That was nice that your coworkers did this for you. In reference to the meat, UGH…I’ve only tasted rabbit once (unaware that it was rabbit). I will admit though that it was delicious. It’s amazing how meat preferences differ throughout the world isn’t it?

  2. josefkul

    Thanks for the compliment! Glad to hear rabbit is delicious. So was the venison. Maybe there is an undiscovered relationship between how adorable an animal is and how delicious their meat is. Has anyone eaten kitten before?

  3. Go Jules Go

    Well first of all, thanks so much for the shout-out! I’m really glad you thought my post was funny (as intended) and not offensive! I was walkin’ a fine line.

    I really, really think you’re onto something with this bonding over cats-as-food disgust.

    P.S. – Did you adopt a dog? I feel like maybe Labs would taste best. Meaty.

    • josefkul

      We haven’t adopted a dog yet, but labrador does sound delicious. Thanks for the tip! Unfortunately, we already have three cats and a baby on the way so the dog thing is probably going to have to wait a while. I did forward a cat-meat-disgust dissertation to the United Nations and am still waiting for a reply. I’ll keep you posted, world peace is important!


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